Saturday, February 20, 2010

Script: Utterly Rucked, part sixteen

Weekends can be so unproductive. Damn friends and family wanting to be social. I don't want a social life, I'm a writer.

Once again the weather's too good not to BBQ, and we've been invited out to the beach for lunch. I guess I'm not getting much writing done today. Oh woe is me ...
Ankle Tap
by David Tulloch

Page ONE

We start with the cafe 'date' then go back to the garroting we set up in the previous episode. Patel and Patton are in a small cafe/restaurant. It's a small town diner with some pretensions at doing 'cuisine'. There are those plastic tomatoes filled with tomato sauce on the tables, with salt and pepper as well. Paper napkins folded in half. A check table cloth made from some plastic material. Uncomfortable plastic seats. Chips come with every meal, and by salad they mean a horrible coleslaw with grated carrot and mayonnaise.

They are ordering. A waitress is taking their orders on a little pad.
Patton: "I'll have the steak, well done. And some chips."
Waitress: "It already comes with chips, and a salad."

Patton: "Yeah, but I'd like some extra chips. love. You can leave the salad off if you need room."
Patel: "I'll have the pasta."

They make small talk while waiting.
Paton: "So ... how long have you been a cop?"
Patel: "Nine years."

Patton: "Sheesh. Ever think about packing it in and having a few kids?"
Patel: "No, not really. It's a good job."

You could have this panel showing Patton trying to play footsie with the inspector, which fits in with the title.
Patton: "'Cause if it's because your single and need a donor, I have some strong swimmers in me."
Patel: "You never give up, do you?"
Part sixteen, Ankle Tap

Page TWO

The food has arrived, and they are eating their meals.
Patton: "You said it would be just the two of us?"
Patel: "Yes. I did."

Patton uses his knife to point at another table.
Patton: "Well, that bloke over there is one of your cops."

Patton points at another table.
Patton: " ... and so is that one."
Patel: "It's just the two of us at this table, though."

Patton talks with his mouth full of food.
Patton: "This isn't a date, is it?"
Patel: "No. It's a trap."

Paton actually looks a bit worried, as if Patel might really be the killer.
Patton: "Oh!?"
Patel: "Yes. You're the bait."

Patton: "Ah. That's not so bad I guess. It's a good steak."

Patton: "How's your food?"
Patel: "It's fine, Mr Patterson, but please stop trying to play footsie with me. I bruise easily."

Patton: "So you really think the killer is Jacinta, my ex?"
Patel: "If I'd ever been married to you I'd want to kill you."

Panel showing the steak on the plate, to emphasize the 'juicy' part of the conversation.
Patel (off): "But with you as a nice juicy target in here at least the others should be safe."

Okay, on this page the number 8 gets garroted while his mates walk on, oblivious, having a conversation.

Reprise the panel from end of the last episode, but smaller.
Williams: "I've always hated Wayne. Ref's can be such pricks."
Davies: "Yeah. The game would be better off without them."

We see the number 8 from the front, the others are off panel ahead of him. The killer is behind him, obscured by him and her cap. The killer (still not completely seen, as the angles of the drawing always put something or someone in the way) behind the number 8, the wire going around his neck.
Williams: (ahead off) "How would that work, then? Wouldn't it just become a big fight?
Davies: (ahead off) "It'd be like Ice Hockey."

Looking at the number 8s face and neck as he starts to be strangled ... the garrote does a quick job, as the wire cuts into neck. There will be blood ...
Williams: "They have refs in Ice Hockey."
Davies: Are you sure?

The two guys up ahead, one of them turning his head (but he hasn't see anything yet) to ask the number 8 a question.
Williams: "Um, ... I think so. Is this the way to Wayne and Cheryl's room?"
Davies: "Not sure. Hey, Tony, are we going ... "

A nice full page panel of the now very messy scene. The number 8 has slumped down, the life literally pouring out of him. The killer is mostly hidden behind the dying man. There is a lot of blood.
Davies: "... the right wa ... ? Holy Fucking SHIT!!!"
Williams: "It's him. It's the killer!!"


Willaims: "Don't just stand there."
Davies: "Wha? Oh, right."

Davies uses the pool cue to whack the killer, but only gets the dying Tony.

Davies: "Shit!"
Williams: "You missed?!?"

The killer has turned and is running away, so once again we still can't quite see who it is.
Williams: "You hit Tony."
Davies: "He's not complaining. C'mon, the bastard's getting away."

Page SIX
Williams and Davies give chase down the hallway after the fleeing figure ...

Davies slips on the blood and falls over, while Williams gets close to the killer.
Davies: "Christ!"

Williams lunges in a stretch tackle just clipping the ankle (an ankle tap, in the parlance of rugby) of the killer ...

... and the killer stumbles and falls in the dark hallway in the middle distance. Williams on the ground in the foreground, looking ahead. Have a vacuum cleaner in the hall, near where the killer falls, as it will be used next episode.
Williams: "Got ya!"

Next: Spear Tackle
Logo by Guy Landry

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