Script: Utterly Rucked, part twenty-one

UTTERLY RUCKED 21
Professional Foul
by David Tulloch

Page ONE
Patel and Patton running to the hotel.

1/1
Patton: "Why would Mel want to kill us?"
Patel: "I barely know you and I want to kill you."

1/2
Patel: "Maybe she's just sick of seeing you all use her mother and father."
Patton: "What? None of us have ever fucked Wayne ... "

1/3
Patton: "... Oh, God! Are some of my team poofters? Is this some bizarre gay sex cult thing?"
Patel: "It's not always about sex, Mr Patterson. There are other ways to use someone."

1/4
Patel with her cellphone out in the foreground. In the distance ahead they can see smoke billowing from the hotel, because Mel recently lit a fire.
Patton: "What's all that smoke?"
Patel: "Damn. Just what we need. I'll call the fire brigade ... you go on."


Page TWO
Meanwhile, back in the hotel. Roll call: Sgt. Bell, Latimer (10), Housden (13), Pike (16) 'Little Willy' Williams (17), Patton, Burnsie and an police officer are alive in the room, for now.

2/1
In the crowded room with the players, the cops and Wayne and Cheryl Jensen.
Wayne: "Are you saying my wife has committed acts of adultery?"
Bell: "Please Mr Jensen, just calm down."

2/2
Finally, a chance to use one of the all time classic kiwi joke lines ...
Housden: "Jeez, Wayne, you'd have to be blind not to notice what Cheryl's been up to. The woman's insatiable."
Wayne: "Just what are you saying?"

2/3
Cheryl: "He's saying I've been screwing the whole team for years ... "

2/4
Cheryl gets slapped by Wayne.
Cheryl: "... and I've loved every single fu ... "
(slap!)
TITLES
UTTERLY RUCKED
Part Twenty-one, Professional Foul


Page THREE

3/1
Bell: "Please Mr Jensen, refrain from hitting the prisoner, or I'll be forced to arrest you as well."
Wayne: "How could you Cheryl?"

3/2
Mel in the doorway of the room.
Wayne: "How could you sleep with other men?"
Latimer: "Um ... hi, Mel."

3/3
Wayne: "Oh? Hello Melanie."
Male: "Hello, Dad."

3/4
Mel looks at her mother in handcuffs.
Mel: "Hello, Mum."

3/5
Burnsie: "Um ... sorry about your parents, Mel."
Mel: "Not as sorry as I am."

3/6
Bell: "Okay ... Time to make this official. I'm taking Mrs Jensen to the local station to be processed."
Cheryl: "But I didn't do anything."


Page FOUR

4/1
Housden: "Hey, we want a piece of her first."
Latimer: "C'mon, let's us rough her up a bit, Sarge. She killed our mates."

4/2
In the background we see Mel has the bag of weapons from episode 19, and is looking inside.
Bell: "You can't seriously think I'd let you molest a prisoner."
Latimer: "I said rough her up ... we've been molesting her for years."
(silent laughs from others in room.)

4/3
In foreground Wayne is bitch slapping Latimer, who pushed him away. Mel is strapping on a belt with large knife in the background.
Wayne: "Why you ... you cad!"
Latimer: "Sod off, Wayne. Christ, you hit like a girl."

4/4
Mel is putting on some spiked gloves in the background.
Bell: "Gentlemen, please calm down. I'm escorting the prisoner out of here."
Housden: "Cheryl always wanted to be an escort."

4/5
Mel is holding a throwing dagger, judging its weight. The team members are looking over at the door where Patton has just arrived.
Housden: "Hey, it's the General."
Latimer: "Welcome back, Patton. How was the date?"


Page FIVE

5/1
Large panel of Mel looking the business, all decked out with weapons and holding a throwing dagger menacingly. The others in the rooms all following Patton's pointed arm as he tries to make them aware of the real killer.
Patton: "Guys ...(puff) ... guys ... Mel ... "

5/2
Wayne: "Melanie. What are you doing with all of those sharp things? They belong to your mother.
Patton: "(puff) No ... Mel ... (cough, hack) ... Mel's the ... killer.

5/3
Most of the room does not believe him ... at first.
Bell: "Mel?"
Wayne: "Melanie?"


Page SIX

6/1
Cheryl: "But she's just a bookworm."
Mel: "Shut up, Mum. Better a boring bookworm than a harping harlot."

6/2
Mel doing that cocking her head to one side in thought thing she did a while back, but still with the throwing dagger ready.
Mel: "Now ... where was I?"

6/3
Mel throws the dagger which hits Housden (No.13, the centre) in the chest to the horror of those present in the room.
Housden: (urk)

6/4
Housden falls over so the number 13 on his jersey is visible. The others look terrified.
Mel: "Oh look! Got you right in the Centre."

Next: Last Minute Substitute

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