Racing along to the final episode ... only two more after this one.
Guy whipped up a KEA Jersey, based on my design so blame me if you don't like it. Thanks Guy. You'll have to imagine the knife sticking out of it yourselves.
UTTERLY RUCKED 22Artwork by Guy Landry
Last Minute Substitute
by David Tulloch
Roll call: Sgt. Bell, Latimer (10), Pike (16) 'Little Willy' Williams (17), Patton, Burnsie and an police officer are alive in the room, for now. Housden (13) lies dead.
A large frame that occurs just after the last panel of the previous episode, with the centre dead (or dying) after having a knife thrown at him by Mel. The rest of the lads are backing up toward the door. Bell is doing his best not to panic. He has his hand(s) out in front in a defensive yet unthreatening way ... his brain ticking back to his training trying desperately to think of what to do. Mel has another weapon in her hands ... a machete.
Bell: Now ... um ... just calm down there ... er ... Miss Jensen.
Mel: "Oh ... I'm very calm."
Bell: "Just put the .. er ... sharp thing ... down. We don't want anyone to get hurt.
Mel: "Actually, I do."
While the rest of the cast stand around frozen in fear and indecision Mel attacks the luckless Bell, who tries to defend himself but fails ...
Bell: "Please, Miss Jensen, just remain ... aarrggh!"
The others panic at the sight of the now dead Bell ... the exact details of how you kill Bell are up to you. The others start for the door, but ...
Part Twenty-two, Last Minute Substitution
This page has a foreground scene with comedic happenings in the background. The foreground scene is Mel arguing with her parents ... in the background the other people that are in the room attempt to leave via the one door, but do one of those Three Stooges classic gags of not fitting through the door when they all try to squeeze through at once.
Cheryl and Wayne have a chat with their daughter. Bell and Housden are dead in the room. Of those trying to get out only Patton and Burnsie will actually get out the door in a later panel.
Wayne: "Melanie, why did you hurt that nice policeman? What had he ever done to you?
Mel: "I bet he played rugby when he was younger."
"Get out of the fucking way."
"Hands off my bloody arse, mate"
Wayne tells Mell off, and Cheryl chimes in . In the melee at the door one of the players falls back out of the scrum into the room. he will be the next victim. Make him ... hmm ... Bruce "Piker" Pike (No.16, front row sub)
Wayne: "Now you listen here, young lady. You need to apologize."
Cheryl: "Apologize?!?! He's fucking dead, Wayne!"
"C'mon, c'mon! Move it. Move it.
"I'm trying, my leg is stuck."
Okay, while Wayne are Cheryl are arguing with themselves, Mel has grabbed the fallen player by the leg (he is trying to cling to the carpet, unsuccessfully, by his fingernails) with one hand, while the other holds a small one-hand hatchet axe.
Wayne: "There's no need for language that like in front of our child, Cheryl.
Mel: "I'm not a child, Dad ..."
"If you'd just take a step back, mate. "
"Twist around a bit."
Mel holding Pike by one leg, hacks into the screaming man with the hatchet.
Mel: "I'm all grown up. I can do whatever I like."
Wayne: "You live under my roof, and under my rules ... and we do not chop people up with axes."
"She's got Piker!!"
"Move it, dammit!"
Meanwhile, Burnsie and Patton make it out of the door, leaving behind a collapsed scrum (of Latimer (10), 'Little Willy' Williams (17), and a police officer.) This page has Patton and Burnsie debating what to do in the foreground, while in the background Mel hacks into the remaining team members in the doorway, and Cheryl and Wayne chime in (unseen) from the room beyond.
The foreground in all of the panels in this page is Patton and Burnsie talking. Mel is trying to kill the guys in the doorway, but Wayne, or at least a part of him, gets in the way.
Patton: "Christ! That was close."
Burnsie: 'Yeah (puff) ... too close."
Mel" "Just get out of the way, Dad."
Wayne: "I'm not moving."
Wayne moves out of sight, while Mel hacks her way into the remaining team members in the door way.
Patton: "Should we go back and help the others?
Burnsie: "Um ..."
Wayne (off): "Ow! Jeepers, Melanie. That nearly got me."
Mel: "I told you to get out of the way."
"Oh god, no!"
Mel hacks away ...
Burnsie: "... maybe we should go find some help? Or at least a weapon or something."
Patton: "Good idea. I mean, we're not running away or anything. We're going for help."
Wayne (off): "You should show some respect."
Mel: "Respect ... ?"
"Somebody ... help us!"
"Stop, please ... arrrgh!!"
Mel has finished off most of the team by now ...
Burnsie: "Yeah. I mean, running away would be bad. but going for help ...
Patton: "That's just common sense."
Mel: "What the hell do you know about respect?
Cheryl (off): "Don't talk to your father in that tone."
"My arm ... oh shit, my arm!"
Back to the room. Mel is covered in gore, and is still hacking away at the bodies in the doorway area, although they are no longer offering any resistance or comments. For some reason a page of Mel hacking into bodies with a hatchet while her parents argue a point of grammar seems funny to me. All the panels can just be of Mel, the parents can be off panel, or only partially seen.
Mel: "Neither of you has been shown a a sliver of respect by any of these bastards."
Cheryl: "That's just not true, Mel. Some of them are real gentlemen.
Wayne: "Were, dear."
Wayne: "They were real gentlemen. You got your tense all wrong."
Cheryl: "My tense?!? Jesus, Wayne, you are a little prick ... in so many ways."
Mel: "The two of you never stop. I sometimes wonder why I'm doing this for you."
Wayne: "For us?"
Mel: "Something had to be done, or things would have just continued like they were forever."
Wayne: "Would that have been so bad? I think I was happy."
Davies turns up, still blind, in the doorway. He is unaware of the carnage.
Mel: "But they treated you like ... they treated you worse than they treated Mum, and that's saying something."
Davies: "Guys? Is that you?"
Mel stands poised with the axe, ready to kill Davies, one hand on his collar, the other holding the weapon ready, for nine similar panels, while her father tries to talk her out of killing Davies.
Davies: "I've been staggering about for a while now, unable to see a thing. I smelt smoke. I think there's a fire somewhere close."
Davies: "Or it might just be a bar-b-que, 'cause I smelt roast meat."
Wayne: "Now, Melanie ... leave the man alone."
Davies: "Leave me alone? What's going on?"
Mel: "He deserves it, Dad. They all do."
Cheryl (off): Would someone get me out of these damn cuffs?"
Davies: "Cheryl? I thought she was being arrested?"
Mel: "C'mon Dad, something this stupid doesn't deserve to live."
Wayne: "I thought I'd taught you wrong from right."
Mel: "You did, Dad ... That's why I couldn't let all the wrongs pass by. I had to do something."
Wayne: "But killing people, Melanie, that's too much for any perceived injustice."
Davies: "Mel's killing people too? Would someone tell me what's going on?"
Wayne: "Well, Mr Davies. It seems my daughter has become a psychotic rugby-themed serial killer and currently has an axe raised above your head.
From Davies (below, off): pff-pharrt"
Wayne: "Furthermore, she claims to have been doing all this to compensate for the treatment you and your fellow team members have supposedly inflicted on myself and my wife.
From Davies (below, off): pfff-plop!
Wayne: "And, er, you seem to have, um, voided your bowels, Mr Davies."
Davies has fainted in Mel's collar grip.
Wayne: "And now you've fainted."
Cheryl (off): "If he's fainted he can't hear you, Wayne."
Wayne: "Now who's being pedantic, Cheryl."
Patton and Burnsie in the hallway.
Patton and Burnsie have come to a t-junction in the hallway.
Patton: "Which way should we go?"
Burnsie: "Um .. you want to split up?"
Patton: "No way! I've seen enough movies to know you never get left on your own if you want to live. We stick together."
Burnsie: "What are we looking for anyway?"
Patton: "I don't know. A weapon? Some help?"
Larger panel of Patel, with a fireman's axe in her hands and a police vest and helmet on, looking like a modern knight. You can have her looking 'sexy' with it; the vest without much underneath, so she looks like a sexy avenging warrior.
Patel: "Will I do?"
Next: Injury time