Finished episode 21 yesterday ... only three more to write (and I've already written the final pages a while back). There's a small section of my brain that keeps asking 'What next?', but I'm trying to ignore it until I finish this project.
UTTERLY RUCKED 18Logo by Guy "In mourning 'cause Canada lost a hockey game to the US" Landry
by David Tulloch
Reprise the last frame of the previous episode. Mel, the daughter of the cuckolded ref, has one gloved hand on Williams' mouth, and with the other holds a gloved finger up to her lips in the universal symbol to be quiet. In the frame behind the killer and her victim Davies is still clutching at his blinded eyes.
Davies: "What? Who is it? What's going on?"
Davies flailing around with his arms in desperation. Mel stepping back from the now dead Williams to be out of his reach.
Davies: "Who did you see, Gerry? Who's the killer?"
Large Title frame. Focus in on Davies. Make sure the number of his jersey (No. 6) is visible, since that way some people might just get that he is the blindside flanker.
Davies: "Gerry? C'mon, mate. I can't see a fucking thing."
Part Eighteen, Blindsided
In this page Mel stands there in the background watching Davies. At first it looks like she might kill him ... but she changes her mind.
Davies' hand clutches at the pool cue that protrudes through Williams. Mel looking like she might be getting ready to strangle him.
Davies: "The pool cue? I'm not going to be much use with that."
Davies straining with the pool cue, but it is imbedded in WIlliams. Mel lookig at him with her head cocked slightly, a smirk on her face, her hands lowered.
Davies: "Well, let go of it, mate"
Davies wrenches it free, but it comes with a large chunk of Williams attached for the sake of horror humour. Mel taking off her gloves.
Davies: "That's better."
A closer up view of the gore. Davies standing there with the pool cue, holding it like a weapon, but it has something gross attached to the end that he can't see. The 'humour' is in the fact that he doesn't realize he's holding a pool cue dripping with blood and bits. Any excuse for a frame with visual impact. Mel taking off her hat and putting her gloves inside them.
Davies: "Right. I'm ready for anything."
At the cafe, Patel and Patton have dessert and a chat. Two pages of small panels.
Patton eating the last bit of some dessert that was served in a sundae glass. He's a messy eater. This can be a visual joke in comparison with the gore from the previous page. Patton's food looks a bit like William's insides.
Patton: "Mmm, mmm. That was good."
Patton: "You sure you don't want one? I could handle another."
Patel: "The cherry on the top of yours was more than enough."
(beepba beepba beepba)
Patel looks at her cellphone.
She screws up her face while reading a text.
Patton (off): "Bad news?"
Patel: "Yes. They found your ex-wife."
Patton: "Isn't that good news?"
Patel: "Not really. They found her in Australia. She's not the killer."
Patton: "I knew she didn't really want me dead. She still loves me, deep down."
Patton: "So who is it? My money's still on Paddy."
Patel: "No. It isn't him. I didn't want to tell you, but ... "
Patel: "... we found his remains earlier today."
Patton: "Then it's got to be Wayne. He is a complete prick."
Patel: "I told you, he's been cleared. 100%."
Patton: "What about Cheryl? Some of the guys thought it might be her."
Patel: "No. I interviewed her extensively. She actually loves your team. Thinks of herself as a mother figure ..."
Patton: "Christ. I wouldn't do what we do to Cheryl to me mum."
Patel: "... and she knows nothing about rugby. She doesn't have the knowledge to stage murders on a theme."
Patton: "She is a bit thick, is Cheryl. Not like her kid. That one's a smart cookie. Always got her head in a book, does Mel."
Patton: "The only time I've seen her do anything athletic was when she was lineman for a couple of games."
Patel: "She refereed for you?"
Even though Patton is talking the frame should show Patel having a moment of realization as to the killer's identity.
Patton: "Lineman only. Just to fill in when the regular bloke was sick. She was good too. Knows a lot about rugby for a bookworm."
Back to the hallway. Mel pretends to have just arrived on the scene.
Davies: "Gerry? Mate? Anybody?"
Mel: "I'm here Mister Davies, I'm .... Oh, no!"
Daviesz; "What? Who is it?"
Mel: "It's me, Mel. Oh dear god ..."
Mel sticks her fingers down her throat
Mel throws up.
Davies: "What's going on?"
Mel: "Sorry, Mister Davies. I threw up. It's just there's a dead man on the ground. I think it's Mister Williams."
Davies: "Gerry? Oh shit. The killer got Gerry. Shit, shit, shit, shit."
Davies: "Did you see anyone else here?"
Mel: "I saw my mum running down the hall."
Davies: "Cheryl? Oh my god .... It's Cheryl. Your Mum's the killer?"
Mel: "Mum? No. It couldn't be."
Davies: "There's no doubt. Sorry, Mel."
Mel letting Davies put his hand on her shoulder so she can guide him.
Davies: "Help me get back to the bar, would you."
Mel: Sure, Mister Davies.
Closer in so we focus on the smiling Mel. It is an evil little smile.
Davies: "We have to tell the others who the killer is."
Next: Tackle Bag