Script: Utterly Rucked, part eight

Another episode, another grisly death, another really bad pun.

UTTERLY RUCKED 08
Against the Feed
by David Tulloch

Page ONE

1/1
Still inside the brothel from last episode. The madam, an aging sex-professional, is banging on the room of room 3. Patton is walking down the corridor, with his arm around one of the prostitutes.
Madam: "Time's up. I'm not warning you again."

1/2
Patton patting the arse of the prostitute goodbye as he turns to talk to the madam.
Patton: "Is there a problem?"
Madam: "One of your lot is overtime ... He'll have to pay for another hour."

1/3
Patton taking cash out of his wallet to give to the madam. There's another prostitute walking in the hallway, the same one that told Hooky to take a shower in the previous episode.
Patton: "No problem. He can take all the time he wants."

1/4
The madam talks to the 'shower' prostitute, Darla.
Madam: "Darla ... I thought you were in there with the client."
Darla: "Nah, one of the new girls swapped for him."


Page TWO

2/1
Madam: "What new girl"?
Darla: "I dunno, but she was an odd one. Bit crazy if you ask me. Had a mask on."

2/2
Patton reaching for the door handle of room 3 with a worried look on his face.
Patton: "Oh crap!"

2/3
Patton utters a line that is meant as a reference to a great NZ comic, as he sees the fate that has befallen Hooky. Hooky is suspended above the bed, obviously dead. He is held by a (possibly unseen) hook in his arsehole, which has then been tied to a rope, then to the roof, so he is above the bed. He has then been killed by various wounds upon his body.
Patton: "Jesus on a stick!!!"


Page THREE

3/1 A bus, taking the team (and Burnsie and the ref and his family) to Eketahuna. It can have 'Eketahuna' on the front destination nameplate.
(from bus): "Let me get this straight ... "

3/2
Burnsie on the bus sitting with Patton.
Burnsie: " ... the hooker, Hooky, was killed with a hook in a house of hookers? Man, that's really driving the point home."

3/3
Patton with a pained expression on his face.
Patton: "Oh, don't say that."
Burnsie: "Why not?"

3/4
Patton: "Well, that's how he was killed."
Burnsie: "Huh?"

3/5
Patton: "The point of the hook, it was driven home."
Burnsie: "Oh god ... "

3/6
Burnsie: "... you mean up his backside?"


Page FOUR

4/1
Patton: "Yup. Why would someone do that?"
Burnsie: "Up the hooker's arse ... "

4/2
Burnsie: "... oh, shit, it's another rugby pun."
Patton: "It is?"

4/3
Burnsie: "Against the feed."
Patton: "Dear god ... that's just sick."

4/4
Burnsie: "Clever though. You have to admire this psycho. He works on many levels."
Patton: "Admire him? I want to kick the bastard in the nuts! If it is a him."


Page FIVE

5/1
Burnsie: "Oh ... so you've got an idea who the killer is?"
Patton: "Not really. When it started I thought maybe it was one of the subs trying to get himself a start. But that's a bit extreme ... "

5/2
Looking over at some of the players we haven't seen much of.
Patton: "I mean you could just get a guy ahead of you pissed the night before if you wanted a game. You wouldn't have to kill him."

5/3
Patton: "But at the whorehouse they seemed to think it was a woman who got in with Hooky."
Burnsie: "A girl?"

5/4
The Inspector sitting up front in the bus.
Patton (off): "The Inspector hates rugby players. It could be her."
Burnsie (off): "But she seems so ... straight up. Besides, she's never met any of you before this tour."

5/4
Burnsie: "What about Cheryl?"
Patton: "Why would Cheryl want to kill any of us?"

5/5
Cheryl sitting next to her husband, Wayne the ref. Have the daughter visible in a seat behind them, reading a book.
Burnsie: "Because your whole team treats her as a pass around sex toy."
Patton: "Yeah, but that's more her idea than ours."

5/6
Focus more on Wayne.
Burnsie: "Anyway ... are your sure it's a woman. I mean, the ref seems a bit girlie. Maybe it was him cross-dressing?"
Patton: "Ugh, that's a horrid thought ... "


Page SIX

6/1
Patton: "But, yeah ... I guess a referee is a rugby players' natural enemy. I mean, you're all mates with the opposing team after the game, but you never make friends with the ref."

6/2
Close up of Wayne.
Patton: "Look at him, though ... Wayne's such a wuss. He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag."
Burnsie: "They always say it's the quiet ones that go mad and rampage through shopping malls."

6/3
Patton looking out the window of the bus.
Patton: "Maybe it's just some psycho we've never met. It could be anyone, really.

6/4
Large frame of the bus arriving in Eketahuna.
(from bus) "Here we are ... Eketahuna. The town that time forgot."
(from bus) "You reckon we'll be safe here?"

6/4
Burnsie stepping off the bus and looking around.
Burnsie: "Well, if the killer doesn't get you the boredom will."

Next: An Englishman, and Irishman and a Welshman walk into a bar ...

London KEAs logo drawn by Guy Landry.