My wife tells me the puns are getting worse as I go. I think that's a good thing. I'm working on episode twelve today if I get the chance. Halfway to the end.
UTTERLY RUCKED 07London KEAs logo by Guy Landry
by David Tulloch
Large panel of Wellington at night, a harbour view. Have the stadium visible (the cake tin), etc.
Part Seven: Sin Bin
Police car at night, driving through the streets of Wellington. The frame divisions for the next couple of pages are just suggestions. The conversation takes place in the back seat of a moving police car ... how you want to show this is up to you.
(from car): "I gotta hand it to you, Patton ..."
Burnsie: "Getting the police to take us all to a brothel is priceless. A police escort to some pleasing escorts."
Patton: "You're full of puns and bad jokes, aren't you, Burnsie."
Burnsie: "I like a good laugh."
Patton: "The cops found Tao and Tank earlier today. Both dead."
Patton: "I bet you can't tell me how they were killed."
Burnsie: "What? You mean think like the killer."
Patton: "Yeah. See if you can think like a murderer who uses bad rugby puns, Burnsie."
Burnsie: "Um ... I'll give it a go."
Burnsie: "Hmm, ... there were your Props, right."
Burnsie: "So, maybe collapse a building on them, like there were propping it up?"
Patton: "No. Try again."
Burnsie: "Oh, I know! The loosehead prop lost his head, I'll bet."
Patton: "That's right. Someone chopped his head clean off."
Burnsie: "Ick. They say you can still hear and even blink for a while after. That'd be weird."
Patton: "So how did the tighthead prop die, Burnsie?"
Burnsie: "I don't know ... "
Burnsie: "... having his head shut in a door?"
Patton: "Close ... you're almost there ... try a bit harder. "
Burnsie: "Look, just what are you saying, Patton? You think I did it?"
Patton: "Did you?"
Burnsie: "Of course not. Christ, Glen! I've known you since primary school, ya dick. Why would I want to kill off your teammates?"
Patton: "I did some mean things to you back in the day. Stole Debbie Jones from you that time."
Burnsie: "Oh yeah. Christ, she had some knockers on her for a fourth-former."
Patton: "Yeah. She was an early developer."
Burnsie: "Only physically, though."
Patton: "Think as two short planks."
Burnsie: "For fuck's sake, mate. I wouldn't kill you or anyone over Debbie Jones ... or any woman. Plenty more tits in the sea."
Patton looking out the cop car window, his eyes angled slightly up, neon lights reflected in the car window. We don't see what he is looking at except in reflection.
Patton: "Speaking of which. ... we're here."
Large frame of the lads going up to the door of the brothel. If you want to use a real Wellington brothel try looking in the phonebook and then Google Maps. Something with an impressive front door.
Burnsie: "Thanks for bringing me along."
Patton: "No problem, mate. I had to ask, Burnsie. I had to be sure I could trust you. The least I can do is give you a freebie."
Going in through the door.
Burnsie: "Cheers. So how did the tighthead prop get it?"
Patton: "Head in a vice."
They have gone inside, but speech bubbles from inside are visible out.
Burnsie (off): "Jeez! That's nasty."
Patton: (off): "Yeah."
The setup for the next kill begins ...
A woman (let's not mince words here, a sex-professional) guiding Brian "Hooky" Collinson, No.2, the hooker, to the showers. Have him carrying a towel, have his number visible, and have a visible shower stall or sign to make it obvious.
Prostitute: "Just go through there, sweetie. Then go through to room 3 when you're all nice and clean."
A shower scene. Shame it's a large, hairy rugby hooker, really ;-) Have Hooky singing to himself in the shower as her lathers up his private parts.
Hooky drying himself off.
The towel wrapped around him, looking for room 3.
Hooky going in to room 3.
Hooky lying on the bed, the towel draped over his middle.
The door opens, and a woman comes in ... the light is brighter outside, so it's hard to see clearly, the figure is silhouetted. Something from Hooky's point-of-view, but with his legs visible maybe.
Hooky: "'Bout time, love ... I was beginning to think I'd have to start without you."
The woman moves in so we can see ... it's not the same woman as the previous page. The woman is dressed in lingerie, but is also wearing a mask ... maybe a plain white theatre mask, or a bondage mask, or anything really, as long as it hides her identity. We cannot see what she is holding behind her back with one hand.
Hooky: " What's with the mask? I didn't pay for anything kinky."
The masked killer holding up a large, overly large, fishing hook which she has taken out from behind her back. It glints evilly in the half-light of the dim room.
Masked Killer: "Oh ... you're getting a lot more than you paid for."
Next: Against the Feed