Only a few more episodes for me to write, as I made it onto number twenty yesterday. I wonder what I'm going to do next? Revert to something old, or start something new? Whatever it is it will involve fewer rugby players.
UTTERLY RUCKED 15Logo by Guy Landry
Number 8 Wire
by David Tulloch
Double frame in which Inspector Patel and Sergeant Bell are in the foreground, but split over the two panels, and three lots of dialogue so some is in the middle crossing the gutter. In the first panel there's a Police photographer taking crime scene photos in the background ...
Patel: "So who was this one?"
Bell: "Trevor Crowly. Known as Daggy to his mates."
Bell: "A Fred Dagg reference I think. She'll be right, Trev."
... and in the second the background is a toilet stall with a dead body (see below). We don't have to see too much in this panel, as it is shown graphically in the next one ...
Patel: "So what's the pun death this time?"
Bell: "Daggy was the utility backline sub ..."
Daggy, from the previous episode, face down in the toilet bowl. The number 18 visible on his jersey.
Patel: "A sub ... so he was drowned in water. Weak."
Bell: "Maybe the killer's low on puns?"
Part Fifteen, Number 8 Wire
Patel: "How did they get in? I thought we had it sealed tight."
Ball: "Toilet window. The tech boys say there's a tree blocking the cameras."
Patel: "This is making me look bad, Bell. I thought we had them secure."
Bell: "Well, there is some good news ..."
Bell: "There's only about half the team left now ... so the killer can't get too many more of them."
Patel: "You're a great help, Bell."
Patel: "Have we located Patterson's ex-wife yet?"
Bell: "Nope. She's off the radar. Went to Aussie a few years ago, then somewhere in Asia. There are rumours she got married to some Indian guru."
Patel: "I'm sure it's her. Guess I'd better go and tell Patterson the bad news."
Bell: "You could always make his day and do on that date with him."
Patel: "You know, Bell. I might just be desperate enough for that."
The inspector chats with Patton.
Patton: "Poor Daggy."
Patel: "Yes. I'm sorry for the loss to the team. Now, I have something to ask of you Mr Patterson?"
Patel: "Would you like to have dinner with me?"
Patton: "Where? Here?"
Patel: "No, there's a small restaurant a few blocks away.
Paton: "Just you and me."
Patton: "A date?"
Patel: "If you want to call it that."
Patton: "Should I shave first?"
Patel: "Yes ... "
Patel: "In fact, I think you should shower AND shave."
Patel: "I'll have an officer escort you to a secure bathroom."
Patton: "Just as long as he doesn't try to wash me dick."
Davies (No. 6, the Felsh Wanker): "Where'd the boss go?"
Burnsie: "He's on a date"
The number 8, Tony "Madman" Mahuri, chimes in.
Mahuri: "What? A fucking date?"
Burnsie: "With the police inspector. So I doubt it's a fucking date."
The police Sergeant joins the conversation.
Davies: "So whose in charge of us?"
Sgt Bell: "I am. Two officers and myself will be watching over you."
Davies: "Fat lot of good you've been so far."
Davies: "So what do we do? Just sit here and wait to get murdered?"
Burnsie: "No. I was planning to sit here drinking heavily while waiting to get murdered."
Mahuri: "Yeah. We'll your not even part of the team, are you. Maybe you're the killer?"
Burnsie: "C'mon. I was sitting right here drinking when Daggy got it. We all were. It's not one of us."
Mahuri: "Who is it then?"
Burnsie: "Maybe it's Wayne.
Or Patton's ex?"
Burnsie: "Ah, crap. I don't know."
Davies: "Well, I know I'm not staying put in here waiting to die."
Mahuri: "Me either."
Davies picks up a pool cue.
Davies: "If it is Wayne I'm going to go beat it out of the bugger."
Mahuri, Davies, and the winger Gerry "Gonzalez" Williams (No.11) begin to leave the bar. Bell tries to stop them
Bell: "Gentlemen. Please. Stay calm."
The three men push their way past Bell knocking him over.
Bell: "We don't want ... Hey!!"
Bell sitting on his arse as the three vigilantes head out of the bar into the dark hall. Burnsie standing nearby, offers a packet of nuts to the Sergeant.
Bell: " ... that's assaulting an officer that is."
Burnsie: "Never mind, mate. Have a peanut."
The next two frames are typical horror killer's point of view material The three men walking toward the unseen killer's POV. Pool cue in Scotty's hand. Mahuri lagging behind a little. The killer is hiding in a dark doorway or something.
Davies: "Now, what room were they in?"
Williams: "Twenty-seven, I think."
The three men having walked past the POV of the killer, so they are walking away down the hotel hallway. We can see the killer's gloved hands out in front of them holding some wire taut between to use a garrote. It should be obvious that the one lagging behind, Mahuri, wearing the number 8 jersey is about to get garroted.
Davies: "I've wanted to give that ref prick a beating since he disallowed that try I scored last year. Improper use of the knees ... no-one calls that!"
Mahuri: "Yeah. He's gonna get what's coming to him."
Next: Ankle tap