I'm currently writing part eight, so I'm doing better than one episode a day. I hope there's someone out there reading these ... but if not, I'm having fun.
UTTERLY RUCKED 05London KEAs logo by Guy Landry
by David Tulloch
The hotel lobby. Patton and the police inspector chat. They are unaware of the death of the tighthead prop.
Patton: "It's a bit late for an official visit, isn't it, Inspector?"
Patel: Just checking in before beddy-byes, Mr Patterson. Wouldn't want another one of your lads to get into trouble."
Patton: "I gave them a big speech telling them all to stay in the hotel and stick together ..."
[ ... so I'm sure they're all fine. ]
Large panel of the now deceased tighthead prop, still with his head in the vice from last episode. There is way too much blood, and his head is now a bit flatter than it should be. TITLES
Part five, Playing Advantage
Patel: "Well, just to be safe we have officers on watch outside, and we're monitoring the hotel's security cameras."
Patel: "Not that there's enough of those. We'll install some of our own tomorrow, just to be safe."
Patton: "Fair enough. You must be hungry, how about having a meal with me? Maybe a bottle of wine?"
Patel: "No thanks."
Patton: "C'mon. I might be dead tomorrow. The least you could do is have dinner with me."
Patel: "I don't date rugby players."
Patton: "Oh? Any particular reason?"
Patel: "I'd rather not say."
Flashback to high school, although overlapping speech balloons block out most of the frame.
"But, I love you, Mikey. Please don't leave."
"I have to, for my career."
"You can play rugby here."
"It's not at the same level. There I'll have more opportunities, better coaches, better teammates."
"I'll wait for you, Mikey."
"Don't. I won't be back."
Patton snapping Patel out of her ugly memory
Patton: "Are you even listening to me?"
Patel: "Sorry ... just a bad memory."
Patton thinking about this.
Patton (thinks): "Hmm."
Patel: "Well, I'd better get back to base. Still got a few things to sort out before tomorrow."
Patton: "Um, ... sure."
Patton drinking alone at the bar.
Burnsie turns up.
Burnsie: "Cheers, mate, mine's a Tui."
Patton: "Huh ... oh, hi, Burnsie."
Burnsie: "What's up with you?"
Patton: "Just wondering about something ... "
Patton: "... well, someone."
Patton: "The Inspector."
Burnsie: "She's out of your league, mate."
Patton: "Ya reckon? Nah! Well, maybe ... but that's not what I was wondering?"
Patton: "She doesn't like rugby players?"
Burnsie: "So ... there's always a few people who don't. That's why god created League."
Patton: "She REALLY doesn't like rugby players."
Burnsie: "Oh? You think she could be the psycho?"
Both of them think about this.
Burnsie: "She's just a girl, right?"
Tao "Loosey" Lolesio (Samoan) No.1 jersey, the loosehead prop, is about to head to his doom. But first he's looking for his front row mate in the bar.
Tao: "Hey, Cheryl. Have you seen Tank?"
Cheryl: "He was with me, sweetie, but we finished up hours ago."
Tao: "Maybe he's back in our room. We're meant to be keeping tabs on each other like Patton said."
Tao exiting the lift
Tao walking along the corridor
Tao about to go in, but there's a note on the door.
The note reads:Tao mate,
Come to the Utility room in the basement.
There's something exciting and wet waiting for ya.
Don't worry, it's not Cheryl :-)
Tao talks aloud to himself.
Tao: "Tank, you bloody beauty. Here I am worried I'm not looking after you, and you've gone and smuggled in some pussy for me."
Tao is the lift, going down.
Tao exiting the elevator at the basement level.
Tao at the door to the utility room, reaching for the handle.
Tao opening the door.
Tao: "I'm here, Tank. Where's this pussy you promised me?"
Large frame to end, of our killer (again, the lighting and baseball cap hide the identity of the slightly built killer) carrying an axe in front of him/her. The axe is well lit, glinting, sharp ...
Unknown Killer: "Oh, it's not me that'll be the pussy!"
Next: Loose Head