Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Dogs of Venus

I recently watched a TV show that was foretelling the world of the near future. What surprised me the most was how close it all was to the future I had been promised as a kid in the seventies. Flying cars, cities on the moon, and pills to give us all we needed to survive. I just wanted to scream out loud enough so all the current crop of kids who were watching could hear ... "Don't buy it. It's all lies!"

The future of my childhood has become the present, and it has let me down. I was promised a hover car. I was promised casinos on the moon. I was promised a Martian mistress and a Venusian dog. How could they lie to me like that? For the same reasons they do it today. Because they make money out of our hopes and dreams.

I wonder how much money has been spent on the hover car over the years? Do we really want hover cars? Wouldn't they be the most dangerous, energy-inefficient mode of transport since ... well ... the SUV? Hover cars are best left to fictional worlds, where fuel efficiency and motor vehicle accident statistics can be blissfully ignored.

Venusian dogs do seem to be a reality, though. They are a peculiar breed of alien pet that buds from the lining of expensive handbags. They have basic mind-control powers that allows them to take over the brains of the weak-minded and shallow, manipulating them into foolish acts and spending sprees.

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