The dead have risen ...

I was surprised to discover that Jim Henson, the famed creator of the Muppets and Fraggle Rock is still working hard ... twenty years after his death. According to the New Zealand media Jim Henson created the current, controversial Air New Zealand mascot, Rico, last year (2010).

This bit of information has been repeated in at least two articles.

So it's true ... the dead have risen and are working in advertising.

The problem seems to have been some overly judicious editing which has cut the complete phrase from "Jim Henson's Creature Workshop" in older references down to just "Jim Henson".

Sigh.

Footnotes
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/marketing/news/article.cfm?c_id=14&objectid=10701482
http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/newsdetail1.asp?storyID=189444
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10687476

Journalists. Damn journalists, and statistics!

I don't know what made me click on this article about sunbed use today, but I was sorry I did.

The dire warnings about sunbeds causing skin cancer have gone unheeded, the article would have us believe. However, when you look closely you just realize that maths wasn't a favourite subject of the journalist writing (or cut and pasting) this pointless piece.

The article claims that a "study that recruited around 1000 members of Cross Health Society, found that out of 33% people aged between 21 and 29 who used sunbed, 3% were the regulars while no less than 27% would like to go for it again."

Let's look at those numbers, shall we.

Even if the entire survey was made up of only 21-29 year olds (it wasn't) then 3% of 33% of 1000 are regular users. That's 10 people.

Assuming a standard age distribution of survey participants, and assuming no-one under 21 was surveyed that would suggest about 7 people at best, probably less were discovered to be regular sunbed users. The article does not claim that anyone outside this age group were regular users.

So, 0.7% (or less) of people surveyed were regular users of sunbeds.

Or if you prefer, statistically speaking the number of regular users was insignificant. Practically speaking you can say that for all intents and purposes there is nothing to worry about with numbers like those. New Zealand has no problem use of sunbeds. Yet the article tries to make it read like an epidemic.

The article goes on to talk about sunburn rates from being out in the sun, but somehow uses those to make a claim about sunbed use?

Sigh.

the Media's "Aflockolypse" Cluck Up

There are sensation media reports of "mass animal deaths across the globe" in the past two weeks, which some have dubbed the Aflockolypse. Is it a sign of the end times, they ask?

No.

But, sadly, it is a sign of the end times of decent journalism.

There are basically two categories of "mass animal death"; birds and fish.

The fish (including some devil crabs, which I realize are technically not fish) seem to have mainly died from .... cold.

In case you haven't noticed, the northern hemisphere has been a tad cold this Christmas and New Year. Humans weren't the only ones to suffer. Some sea and river species are very susceptible to extreme temperature changes like those that have been experienced lately.

So the UK's Devil Crabs (oooh, devil, does that mean the Aflockolypse is biblical?), Chesapeake Bay's fish, and even Brazil's fish deaths are all down to cold weather (and currents). How ... boring. It happens all the time, but normally it goes unreported by the global media.

But it wasn't just fish in the Aflockolypse ... there were birds! lots of birds just dropping from the skies, dead. The sky is falling!

The media suggested the large numbers of birds dropping dead from the sky on New Year's Day could be a sign that the year was cursed, or that the world was going to end. 2012 was mentioned (because many journalists don't seem to know what year it is), and all sorts of conspiracy theories were 'reported'.

So what killed the birds?

Fireworks.

Again, this is a common event, usually unreported by the media. Every New Year's (and on other festive occasions) there are firework celebrations at night that startle birds, who fly about blindly in the dark. The crash into things (and each other) and die of blunt force trauma, as autopsies have showed.

Only the "hundreds of snapper" found dead on the shores of New Zealand seem to have a sinister side to their demise. They appear to have been dumped illegally by a fishing vessel.

So much for the Aflockolypse. But reason and logic are too dull and boring to sell newspapers and gain advertising revenue. So expect more conspiracy theories.

A few good men?

The outcry against the current Wikileaks document dump seems to me to be a similar line of reasoning as Jack Nicholson's character in A Few Good Men. Apparently we can't handle the truth. We need people acting on our behalf outside the rules we are expected to follow ourselves. These people should have no public oversight or scrutiny of their actions. Secretly we want it that way ... because we can't handle the truth.

The diplomats and politicians want to give us easy to digest black and white versions of the world. There are good guys (France, for example) and bad guys (France, for example if we go back a couple of years). The leaders of the Free World are all nice guys and girls. They are competent, honest, hard-working. We can rest easy at night, and sleep soundly in out beds. Because if we knew the truth ...

The world is full of grey. The leaders of the so-called free world are often corrupt, vain, stupid, inappropriate, paranoid, etc. Toppling Saddam didn't create a wonderful secular democracy overnight ... and has allowed Iran to gain more regional influence than some of its neighbours would like. Pakistan has some serious problems, which include the possibility of nuclear terrorism. China and North Korea sometimes don't get along. The U.S. bullies and bribes other countries into doing stuff they don't want to do. The U.S. sometimes does negotiate with terrorists.

The thing is ... none of these are revelations. Unless you are the kind of person who takes press releases from the White House at face value. And that is the crux of the matter. Too many journalists and commentators have been asleep at their desks doing just that .. letting the obvious lies, half-truths, and diplomatic double-speak get reported uncritically. Or worse, actually helping to formulate and disseminate those lies.

It is not the job of politicians and their PR-people to tell us the truth. It is supposed to be the job of journalists to ferret out that truth and expose the grayness of the world. Not only are most journalists not doing that, many are actually attacking Wikileaks for making that job possible. Even now the mainstream media (particularly television) spends more time reporting the spin coming from the White House about the leaks than the contents of the leaks themselves. It's as if the majority of them have no idea how to analyze and write about evidence, so they resort to regurgitating the press releases from officials ... once again reporting on auto-pilot.

The lesson here is that not only can we handle the truth, but that many of us already knew the truth. It turns out that the cynics among us were pretty much on the money. Who would have guessed? It's the majority of the media who seem to have no idea what to do with the truth.

Let's hope a few more people have now had the wool pulled away from their eyes, and that maybe a few more journalists start to question the official line on a regular basis.

Words of equal value?

More Character Development pages over at the other blog.

I posted a link on Facebook today, but I'll post the rant about it here.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908//vp/40246873#40246873
The media no longer seems to have any ability to differentiate between sources. If somebody, anybody, says something it can be used as 'news', no matter how disprovable, how idiotic, or how ill-imformed the statement is.

An example of this is contained in the link about. I witnessed another example recently when a UK reporting of a gun shoot in East London was focused around the quote "getting a gun here is as easy as buying candy from the corner shop".

This quote was used by the in-studio presenter before the clip. Then restated by the on-the-scene reporter, then restated in voice-over yet again before finally being said on camera by the source. The source was a wannabe hip-hop dude who looked like a stoned extra in an Ali G sketch.

There was no evidence for the statement. No research was done. The source was unreliable. The quote really made no sense. Yet it had been chosen by the 'news' as the focus for the report on a fatal shooting. Why? It was sensational. It was good TV. That and it fitted in with an editor's own views/fears on the subject.

It was everything that is wrong with the current media.

The news media is (in general) divided into commentators, who can have opinions, and presenters and journalists, who are not allowed to have opinions. There may be good reasons for this, especially given the trend to pretty boys and girls as presenters and journalists who quite possibly have no opinions worth listening to "Is my hair okay?").

News presenters are no longer allowed to voice their own views, that would be opinion and editorial which is bad. If you are a news reporter, as opposed to a commentator, you MUST let others give the opinions. You MUST be balanced, even if that balance means letting someone state something that is incorrect, wrong, or stupid.

But just because news presenters can't tell us what they are thinking (lest the gods of fair and balanced journalism strike them down) that doesn't stop them from getting as many quotes as they want and selecting one that fits their now hidden agenda.

Any source will do. A doctor or a homeopath? It doesn't matter. A police spokesperson or a random stoned guy on the street? They are of the same value to the media,

History as a Second Language

Where do you go for your Egyptian history? Someone who has a degree in Teaching English as a Second Language of course. Dr Carmen Boulter's 5-part documentary, The Pyramid Code, is currently showing on the History Channel.

Her credentials are rather less than impressive. Oddly enough her university of Calgary website page avoids mentioning her award-winning documentary series (awards for Score, Motion Graphics and Design Package).

The basic premise is that we have all be told lies by 'traditional Egyptology' and we need to re-examine the evidence.

The conclusion Dr Boulter comes up with is that the pyramids are vast electrical machines, now broken, that were part of some sophisticated stellar worship/observation and harmonic healing system.

'Traditional Egyptology' is presented as a straw man, not only laughably wrong but actively trying to hide the real story by misrepresenting, hiding and destroying evidence. Conspiracy theories are wonderful things, as it's always impossible to refute them ... "You must be one of them!" the believers cry.

The arguments presented by Dr Boulter are done so without evidence, and are filled with mystical ramblings about what spiritual life must have been like for the invented star worshipers she posits.

The supporting experts are a motley collection of oddball Egyptian History re-interpreters, the half-baked ideas of which are manipulated to fit Dr Boulter's own claims.

It's simply rubbish. Easily refuted rubbish.

So how did she get a 5-part documentary series, and why is it being shown by the History Channel?

The series is available in bite-sized YouTube chunks, and on DVD, as well as the endless cycle of repeats it is sure to have, if you wish to go look. It's worth a laugh. But that's about it.

No wonder I generally avoid the History as a Second Language Channel.

(More 'almost comics' soon).

Sold to the man in the trenchcoat and hat

Unigirl (see yesterday's post) claims to have 'tendered' her virginity for $NZ45,000. Apparently 30,000+ viewed the ad and 1200+ people made her an offer. The online auction was ended just as media attention was beginning to go global ... Indian and Australia newspapers have picked up the story.

It's a good price, as far as these things go. Recently a 16-year old Northern Ireland sold hers for $NZ18,000, but the sale never went through as the buyer was a reporter seeking an interview. Supposedly a Romanian girl in Germany sold her virginity recently only to be landed with a hefty tax bill.

However, I can't help feeling Unigirl sold herself short. If she'd just waited all the global interest in her auction could have netted her a lot more. After all, it's a one time sale. So far the only woman to reclaim her virginity after the fact has been Doris Day. The quick end to the auction on the I Need site, and the lack of any means to verify the sale, reinforces my theory that the whole thing was a publicity stunt.

If it was a stunt it has had a small amount of success, as there are a few new postings on the I Need site ... even a personal ad offering the "Girl Friend Experience" for $NZ150.00, including fantasy and role play. (By telephone appointment only.)

$NZ45,000 for the first time ... $NZ150.00 if you have extensive experience. On-the-job knowledge is just not valued anymore.

Links
http://www.ineed.co.nz/search_extended.php/relationship/id/676/
http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/news/3277513/Student-auctions-off-her-virginity
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7076279/Teenager-tries-to-sell-her-virginity-to-fund-education.html

Virginity For Sale ... Steaming Hot Virginity For Sale

Why pay for advertising when you can get it for free? The media will happily give you free publicity if you dangle a juicy, sexy, salacious story their way.

So I Need, a struggling TradeMe rival, has a 19-year old woman selling her virginity to the highest bidder. Or is she? Bidding is private, so while the listing says the "highest bidder" will win Unigirl's virginity, she(?) doesn't have to accept any bids.

I Need has only a few hundred 'auctions' active, maybe less as their listing numbers are not accurate. For example, their "personal" section has 11 listings, but when you follow the link it turns out there are only 3, one of which is the "Relationship For Sale" of Unigirl.

No picture is offered for this auction (you can't see the goods upfront) so the NZ Herald article on this sex-filled story used a picture of a woman in fishnet stockings adjusting high heels with the filename 'Parlour_220x147.jpg' ... implying the editor dredged a stock pic from the prostitution file to illustrate the plight of the "cash-strapped Kiwi student". Classy.

The Herald also had a related article link to a 'report' about a 26-year old Auckland Christian, Melanie Clarke, who informs us her virginity is priceless. In Melanie's case a photo was included. Look but don't touch. This is cutting-edge journalism! Who knew there were Christians out there who felt strongly about sex and virginity?

The whole thing has the feel of a stunt. Unigirl was not accepting requests for interviews, which suggests she isn't really serious about promoting the sale. Surely if she wanted top dollar for the goods she'd grab the media spotlight with both hands and shine it directly between her legs?

The stunt gives I Need some much needed publicity. Unfortunately the lack of substantial listings on their site will mean it doesn't get them many new members. I predict Unigirl's 'auction' will disappear without the world discovering if there was a successful sale. The media will go look for sexy stories elsewhere. University fees will continue to rise with all the serious consequences that implies. Serious consequences that just aren't sexy enough to make the papers.

Tiger's actual problem

Thanks to Fox News analyst Brit Hume we now know the real issue of Tiger Woods adultery and subsequent fall from grace in the public eye. The problem is that Tiger's a Buddhist. Hume said he didn't "think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith".

Tiger's problem isn't that he cheated. Tiger's problem is that his philosophical view doesn't allow him to move beyond it.

Hume has put his finger on the great attraction of U.S. brand Christianity. The public brand of faith that Americans adhere to gives the worshiper a perpetual Get Out of Jail Free Card, and if you are a public figure you may get to advance straight to Go and collect $200 million dollars as well.

American Christianity is the whiter-than-white brand of religion, washing your life sparkling clean of all stains if you publicly go through the spin cycle for all to see. Look at George W. He had an alcohol addition and used illegal drugs on a regular basis for years. You'd think that would preclude a political career. But, bingo, presto, change-o, he gets born again and his past life is gone, twirling down the sinkhole with the other stains and grey water of his old life. God forgave him, folks. That means you have to as well. Or are you better than God? Didn't think so.

W. was even guilty of that most unforgivable of sins in the U.S. public consciousness; he was a failed businessman. He had an appalling record of collapsed and bankrupt companies. In a country that worships business success with perhaps more overt frenzy that it does God, where the almighty dollar and capitalism are as iconic as the cross, failing in business again and again is a cardinal sin. Bingo, presto, change-o.

Brit Hume has a point. Plenty of other public figures in the U.S. have been caught cheating but have all turned potential career ending infidelities into mere road bumps by invoking the forgiveness of God. The sin isn't the problem. Adultery is almost expected of public figures. Babe Ruth, Wilt Chamberlain, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, JFK, David Letterman, Jimmy Swaggert ... these are just the tip of the penis-shaped iceberg of those who have cheated on their wives and yet remained famous and even beloved by the American public.

No, Tiger's problem is that he is unable to forgive himself. He is trapped within his own Buddhist mind, seeing himself as unworthy and unforgivable. He sees the fault for his indiscretions are lying entirely within himself. He needs the cleaning action of U.S. brand Christianity to wash those sins away and leave him if not whiter-than-white, then at least a smooth shade of brown.

If Tiger were to become a Christian, as Hume would have it, he would then be able to demand forgiveness from the public, as once God forgives someone the rest of us are compelled to follow suit least we look like heretics.

Go on Tiger, give it a go. Let forgiveness into your life. Not forgiveness from your wife, your mistresses, your friends, your sponsors, your fans, or anyone earthly, but rather forgiveness from a higher, more powerful, incontestable source. After all, if you continue to blame yourself and stay out of the golf arena we all lose. Let Brit Hume's God wash you clean and tumble dry your image.

---

Also check out the Tiger Woods as Role Model website. How history makes fools of us all ...

Tiger thinks that being a good role model to others is even more important than his golf. He thinks his golf is just a vehicle for him to influence people. He wants to influence kids in a positive way. Tiger feels that's what it's all about ...

Tiger says that his religion [Buddhism] has given him self awareness. He says his religion has taught him that he is here to work on flaws in his personality ...

It even contain the address of his fan club.

Parallax

I was making up a bottle of formula for the wee one when my mind turned to the notion of parallax. You have to get the amount of water in the bottle near exact, so you turn your head this way and that to make sure the level is right, and not out by 10 millilitres or so because of parallax.

This, of course, got me thinking about the media.

The reality of the world as reported for us is skewed by the parallax introduced by the media. We just don't see things from a level angle any more. If you believe Fox News, and sincerely I hope you do not, then they are the only media source giving you a right wing parallax on events (although also a completely fair and balanced one as well, as they keep repeating to you over and over. We're fair and balanced, the only fair and balanced news, over and over, like a drug addict trying to convince you they are clean ... I swear man, I've given up the shit for good, I just need a few hundred bucks to start turning things around man, honest man, I'm clean. Really, I am. I'm clean.)

Other media, according to Fox, are left-wing biased. I'd like to believe this. I really would. But the Fox idea of left-wing media means one that occasionally lets anyone with a slightly left-wing agenda speak on a program without being pilloried before and after.

The Left is dead. At least in the mainstream. So, unfortunately, everyone that gets their news from the mainstream media has a parallax problem.

It was then I realized I'd forgotten how many scoops of formula powder I'd put into my carefully measured 250mls of lukewarm water.

Damn!

Was I up to two or three of the five scoops?

Staring at the slowly dissolving sticky mess I came to the only fair and balanced conclusion I could reach.

I threw it all out and started again.

Image from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallax