Again, this script has no home, so if there's anyone out there interested in it please drop me a line.
PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA
by David Tulloch
This is a love story, of sorts, between a woman and a cockroach. Having said that, nothing is shown, but plenty is implied. Really it is a story about how some people are never happy with what they have, but always want to go beyond their current situation.
Some pages have suggested layouts, but feel free to be inventive. It is twenty-nine pages, but could be condensed or expanded a couple either way. Possibly add a splash page to start with and it's a nice 30 pages, which seems about right.
A cockroach on a kitchen counter.
A cockroach about to be hit by a rolled up magazine, just missing.
Large panel. A woman, Laura, about to have another swing at the cockroach. The cockroach, whose name is Steve, speaks ...
Steve: "Don't kill me!"
The woman, cocking her head to one side in puzzlement
Laura: Um ... did you just speak?
Steve: "Yes. I'd be very grateful if you didn't squash me."
Laura and the cockroach
Laura: "You're very polite for a cockroach."
Laura and the cockroach
Steve: "My mother always said politeness costs you nothing."
Laura: "Your mother?"
Laura and the cockroach
Steve: "Sure, everyone has a mother."
Laura: "I guess."
Steve: "Thanks for not squashing me."
Laura: "Yeah ... sorry about trying."
Steve: "Maybe I could take you out for coffee, to thank you properly?"
Laura: "Are you asking me out?"
Steve: "Sure, why not?"
Laura: "Because you're a cockroach!"
Steve: "You've dated worse."
Silent panel of Laura thinking about that last statement and deciding maybe it's true.
Laura and Steve.
Laura: "You don't smoke, do you?"
Steve: "Never have."
Laura: "Okay then, let's have coffee sometime."
Steve: "Great! My name's Steve."
Laura holding out her hand, but looking a little puzzled as to what to do, Steve holding out a feeler.
Laura: "Um, Laura. I'm Laura."
[ Steve waited a couple of days. He didn't want to seem too eager.]
Large panel showing Laura's kitchen, Laura doing the dishes. Steve coming out from under the fridge.
Steve: "So would you like that coffee?"
Laura shrieking, dropping a plate.
The plate smashing, Steve fleeing back under the fridge.
Laura: "Oh, it was you. You scared the life out of me."
Laura looking under the fridge ... which is a view that reoccurs later in the story.
Laura: "You can come out. Just don't sneak up on me like that."
Steve peeking back out.
Steve: "Sorry, but it's not like I can knock."
Steve: "Um ... I don't s'pose you want that coffee then?"
Laura: "Well,... it is late."
Steve: "Really? Seems early to me."
Laura: "Oh. I guess your a bit of a night owl."
5/4 Laura thinking, looking a Steve.
Laura: "Oh, what the hell. It's Saturday tomorrow, I can sleep in. Let's get that coffee."
One happy cockroach.
Laura: "Um, so how do we do this? Do I follow you?"
Steve: "You'd have to tread very carefully."
Laura: "You could ride on my shoulder."
Laura: "Just make sure you stay on my shirt."
Steve: "Don't worry. I won't get fresh on a first date."
Laura: "So where are we going?"
Steve: "I know a place close by."
Laura: "There's a coffee place close by?"
Steve: "Yup. Best coffee in the neighbourhood."
7/3 Walking down the hallway of the apartment building.
Steve: "Just down here a bit ... "
Steve: " ... and around this corner... "
Outside of apartment 109.
Laura: "This is just the apartment where Old Mr. Phelps lives."
Steve: "Yeah, he has a Coffeemaster 5000, and he knows how to use it."
Laura: "So we just knock?"
Steve: "No ... !"
Steve: "Don't knock, you'll wake him up!"
Laura with her hands on her hips.
Laura: "You're taking me out for coffee to the apartment of a sleeping man?"
Steve: "Well, if he was awake he would notice us drinking his coffee."
Laura reaching up to her shoulder, where Steve is.
Laura: "(sigh) This isn't going to work out, is it. I should have known better."
Laura picking up Steve with thumb and finger.
Steve: “What? Hang on. At least give it a try!"
Laura: "You're asking me to break into another person's place and use their coffee machine!"
Steve: "No, no, no, ...
Steve: "... you don't have to use the machine. Phelps usually nods off with most of his cappuccino un-drunk. We just hide under the sofa until we hear him snoring."
Laura: "You want me to drink someone else's cold coffee?"
Steve: "It's usually a little warm."
Laura; "You call this a date?"
Steve "I was hardly going to take you to the symphony, was I ..."
Laura still holding Steve, looking a bit surprised by what he is saying.
Steve: "... those ticket prices are steep, and I'm on a budget."
Laura: "You like classical music?!?"
Steve: "Well, none of that modern stuff, but Bach, Beethoven, Berlioz ... "
Laura: "Maybe this could work out ... "
Laura: "... but I think I should organize our dates from now on."
Continued in next post ...